This is what you're scared of

And when you lean into it, the world opens up to you.

People are scared of a lot of things: war, being pushed in front of a train, a third term of Trump, bees… But there is one thing that nearly everyone is afraid of: uncertainty.

Our desire to control things is a direct reaction to that fear, and it can turn us into control Freaks (that’s right, capital F, I see you). It’s completely natural and comes from the well of our deep seated anxieties. But the color coated spreadsheets and calendars can’t mask it forever.

Next time you try to control something or someone, ask yourself—what am I afraid of?

For example, I used to (and from time to time still do) pack my calendar with social events, travel or upcoming travel planning to keep myself "busy.” Really I was avoiding working on my personal creative projects for fear that if I did and they turned out bad, I would become a failure and my greatest disappointment along with my parents, relatives and ancestors.

We're living through a time of unprecedented uncertainty - about our planet's survival and democracy's future. I’m scared shitless. But instead of getting sucked into those rational fears which end up fueling anxiety, depression, isolation and/or self harm, we need to focus on what we can control: our breath, emotions, thoughts, actions, and diet. These things feed one another—literally.

Toss the rest in the trash. It’s not up to you to fix the world or make someone else happy. Now repeat that one out loud.

When we focus on what we can control instead of what we cannot, we build a more resilient armor. Knees bent, feet planted, fists up guarding his face, body tensed like a coiled snake ready to strike.

Walk into the battlefield

I believe the best way to combat our fear of uncertainty is by walking directly into it.

People are terrified of change because it means they will have to deal with a certain amount of uncertainty. Naturally! But when we become fixated on that fear, you miss the opportunity to tap into your greatest potential. You get comfortable in your discomfort. You become stagnant, grumpy and irritable. You blink and there goes another year.

And that should be your greatest fear.

5 ways to prepare yourself for uncertainty

1. Learn some basic pranayama (breathwork). This will be your safety blanket, your emergency life raft. It will help you battle with any anxieties, regulate your emotions and keep you tuning into yourself. My pranayama recommendations are abdominal breathing (Sivananda style) and Anuloma Viloma.

2. Solo traveling even if it’s just to a nearby city/town for the weekend. I found my trips abroad alone really helped me become more adaptable and fearless. The confidence I felt after fending for myself in foreign countries was tremendous and I’ll continue to reap those benefits. Adjusting and adapting in the face of uncertainty feels second nature now.

3. Ease into the new change. If you’re interested in moving to a new country or doing a big solo trip, easing in is always the best thing you can do for yourself in the long run and for your nervous system. Backpacking in Guatemala and Peru for three-weeks allowed me to comfortably test and prepare myself for five-months of backpacking in Asia. Then I planned to start that five-month trip in a town in India where I had family to ease the shock on my system. If you’re moving to a new place, think about moving to a place where you have a small network or have one or two family members. It allows you to leap knowing you’ll land on some solid ground, which in turn will allow you to take more leaps—small or large.

4. Make a list of your ‘unfair advantages.’ These are the things you have in your life that you could lean on if push came to shove. For example, I could stay with either of my parents who live on opposite coastal cities in the U.S. if I needed to. Or maybe you have a community of people who love and care about you that you can have on speed dial, or having skills like bartending, babysitting or tutoring that you could make money from if and when the time comes.

5. Make a ‘risk resume.’ Write down some of the risks you’ve taken in your life and how they resulted. There are thousands of things you probably don’t even consciously register as risks that certainly are. You have no idea that all those risks you took are preparing you for your next one. Reflecting on this will help strengthen your self-trust muscle.

Last year I enrolled in a course on sabbaticals taught by two of my favorite Substack writers, Tobi Ogunnaike and Michelle Varghese. One of the assignments was to list out our ‘unfair advantages’ and make a ‘risk resume.’ Those exercises really stuck with me. So giving credit where credit is due!

I am no millionaire entrepreneur or successful writer who has sold 100,000 copies of their book to persuade you to take my advice. I am a normal person who has taken some bold risks in life and believes that when you lean into uncertainty and put positive and intentional energy into the world, amazing things come to you — even when you least expect them to.

If you’re skeptical of my advice, just listen to the great Julia Cameron (writer of the ‘The Artist’s Way’) who says, “leap and the net will appear.” These are the words I live by.

Wishing you all the best on your journey ahead,

India